Author Archives: siodanphoto@gmail.com

The Speed of Life

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At what speed do you live your life?

We can probably generalise and say we live a slow paced, easy going life or we live a fast paced, hectic life.

We may be somewhere in between.

A better question to ask would be,

At what speed do you want to live your life?

Here’s some astrophysics that explains how fast we are all travelling,

1.The earth rotates on its own axis making one complete rotation every 24 hours which gives us night and day.

This happens at about 1,037 miles per hour. 

2.The earth revolves around the Sun making one complete rotation every 365 days which is one year. 

This happens at about 67,000 miles per hour.

3.The Sun, Earth, and our entire Solar System are orbiting the centre of our Milky Way.

This happens at about 500,000 miles per hour

4.Our Galaxy, the Milky Way moves in space relative to other galaxies

This happens at about 1.3 million miles per hour. 

That’s enough speed to make us very dizzy! 

I’m no astrophysicist and so I don’t know if you add up or multiply all of the above to get our exact speed but we are moving VERY VERY FAST! Here’s a really good article that explains this speed much better than I can – How fast is earth moving?

For me this is plenty speed – I don’t want to live my life any faster than this.

In the last 3 decades of my life I lived my life at a fast paced and hectic speed.

A few years ago this speed started to become less enjoyable.

It felt too fast.

It felt like I was speeding my way through life and not taking enough notice of the preciousness and awe of life.

Then I slowed down.

I left my job without another, I streamlined my responsibilities & commitments, I removed myself from everything that no longer interested me – I just slowed down.

This slower speed,

  • felt better
  • felt right
  • brought more joy
  • brought more enjoyment
  • brought more happiness
  • brought more peace

Part of my goals for this year and beyond is to continue living life at this slow paced, joyful, happy and peaceful speed.

  • What speed do you live your life at?
  • Do you want to live your life at a slower or faster speed?

Want to join my weekly newsletter?

If so download my free ebook ‘The A-Z of Effective Change’ below and you are all signed up! 

Thanks for reading,

Siobhain

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My 2024 Goals

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2024 Annual Goals

Setting annual goals gives us DIRECTION for the year ahead. 

Where we end up as a result of goal setting is UNKNOWN but wouldn’t you rather be going in the DIRECTION YOU SET instead of anywhere else?

Annual goal setting gives us PURPOSE & MEANING and the more we work on our goals, the more PURPOSE & MEANING we bring into our lives. 

Using the template outlined in my blog post Setting Dream Driven Goals, I ask myself the following four questions for each area of my life to set my goals for 2024. 

  • What are my DREAM DRIVEN GOALS?
  • WHY are these goals important to me?
  • HOW will I achieve these goals?
  • What METRICS will I use to measure progress?

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

 

All of my goals and everything I do align with the concepts of I Am Enough and Less is More. 

Below are my 2024 Annual Goals for each area of my life,

1. SENSE OF SELF:

Before I dive into my goals in this area, I’ll explain what Sense of Self means to me. 

This category combines my spirituality, personal development, personal strategy and my relationship with myself. This category is all about who I am, who I want to be and how I feel about myself & the world around me. This is also where I work on the concepts of self love, self worth, self esteem, self belief, self trust, self confidence, self assurance, self understanding, self respect, self awareness and self observation.

The success of this category determines the success in all other categories of my life and so it is the most important category of my life. 

What are my Sense of Self Dream Driven Goals?

  • To prioritise, understand and learn more about myself to bring the best version of my truest, most authentic self to my life, my relationships & the world. 
  • To learn more about, grow and stay grounded spiritually. 
  • To utilise, improve and learn more about my personal strategy.

WHY are my Sense of Self goals important to me?

My Sense of Self has taken a bit of a battering over the past few years and so it’s pretty unstable at the moment. This means my entire life feels unstable – this is not a nice place to be and not somewhere I want to spend too much more time in!

My personal strategy keeps me on top of everything & ensures I get everything done with no stress, strain or pressure! The more visibility & understanding I have in my life, the more I can see what areas I want to improve and change. 

When I don’t utilise my personal strategy I feel disorganised, overwhelmed, under pressure, stressed, less grounded, less happy & less fulfilled. 

HOW will I achieve my Sense of Self goals?

  • Learn more about sprituality, psychology and concepts of self 
  • Create my personal strategy for 2024 and carry out regular plans and reviews 
  • Journal daily – daily journaling is a game changer in terms of self awareness
  • Spend sufficient time in solitude – I’m an introvert and so solitude is as important to me as oxygen is! 

 What METRICS will measure progress towards my Sense Self goals?

Progress in terms of ‘Sense of Self’ is difficult to measure, it’s almost intangible. It is however closely linked to my happiness, contentment and fulfillment of which all of the above add to immensely.

Currently I don’t have a measure for this category other than how joyful I feel every day and what I learn about myself. 

 

2. RELATIONSHIPS:

What are my relationship Dream Driven Goals?

To nurture & improve my relationships & spend quality time with Mike, my family & friends  This part of my life is really just about enjoying the company of those I love and who love me.

There is no greater gift!  

My beloved Dad passed away last year. Learning to live with my Dad’s physical absence is something that I’m not sure I’ll ever get used to. I don’t even know how I’ll get used to life without him, it’s just so incomprehensible.  

WHY are my relationship goals important to me?

My relationships with those I love are my greatest source of happiness and I want to ensure my relationships are given the time and focus that they deserve.

The work I do in the Sense of Self category will also support my relationships to ensure I bring the best version of my truest, most authentic self to my relationships 

HOW will I achieve my relationship goals?

  • Navigate the journey of grief for my beloved Dad which brings me much sadness.
  • Spend precious time with Mike, my family and friends which brings me much joy.

What METRICS will measure progress towards my relationship goals?

There are no metrics in this category although I do ensure I capture the precious time I spend with those I love in photos and journaled memories.

 

3. HEALTH:

What are my health Dream Driven Goals?

Mental & Emotional Health: To nurture & improve my mental & emotional health to create mental & emotional stability and strength. 

Physical Health: To nurture and improve my physical health to be the healthiest, fittest and strongest I can be.

WHY are my health important to me?

My health is the foundation on which everything else is built – without health, nothing else can thrive. 

Over the past few years, my entire perspective on my health has changed. It is no longer about being healthy because I enjoy eating well, exercising and fitting into my clothes. Health is now about longevity and having fitness, strength & mobility to enjoy that longevity.

Dr Lisa Misconi says ‘Your health in mid life is the biggest determining factor of your health in later life’. This is why it is so important to be the healthiest, fittest and strongest I have ever been!

I feel more grounded, happy, joyful, less anxious, less overwhelmed, less stressed and more at peace with myself, life & everything when I feel fit and healthy.

HOW will I achieve my health goals?

I make the same health goals every year and have learned that progress is not linear. Some years I am at my healthiest, fittest and strongest and some years I am not.

What matters is not so much linear progress, but what I learn about my health and the continuous work I put in to improve it.

1. Mental & Emotional Health: 

To understand and prioritise what supports my mental health. For me, mental health is the most important element of overall health as without mental health, nothing else will function optimally. 

To understand and prioritise what supports my emotional life. I’m an Enneagram 4 and so pretty much live on my emotions! Managing my emotions needs to be a daily practise to stay sane! 

2. Physical Health: 

Continuously work on my physical health to be the healthiest, fittest and strongest I can be. I do this through embedding healthy habits for nutrition, exercise, sleep, relaxation etc. Here I schedule and monitor results of health check ups – optician, dentist, bloods etc. 

 What METRICS will measure progress towards my health goals?

  • Health metrics of BMI, weight, nutrition, exercise, sleep etc
  • Health checks completed and progress on same 

 

4. FINANCE: 

What are my finance Dream Driven Goals?

I only have one Financial Dream Driven Goal – to achieve and enjoy Financial Freedom. 

Financial Freedom is defined as ‘having sufficient income, savings or investments to live comfortably for life and meet all one’s obligations without relying on a salary’. 

I have learned a huge amount about Financial Freedom from Tony Robbin’s excellent book Money – Master the Game. Tony says Financial Freedom is ‘a long-term plan to build the life of your dreams. Tony also says ‘success is doing what you want to do, when you want, where you want, with whom you want, as much as you want, that’s also financial freedom’.

Both of these definitions sit well with me and sum up my dreams for Financial Freedom! 

WHY are my finance goals important to me?

For me, financial freedom isn’t about having a certain amount of money or buying material things. Financial freedom is more about using my financial situation to have the freedom to enjoy all other areas of life as much as possible. 

  • I want the freedom to give as much time as I want to other area of my life
  • I want the freedom to work for joy and not for the necessity of money
  • I want the freedom to contribute to the world however I want to

HOW will I achieve my finance goals?

I use the word ‘abundantly’ throughout my 2024 financial goals as I believe that reaching financial goals has as much to do with a growth and abundance mindset as it has to do with money. 

  • To abundantly spend and enjoy spending 

To enjoy and monitor my spending.

I’m not great at sticking to a budget but what I am very good at is monitoring spend in great detail. This ensures I know exactly how much I spend and can adjust my habits accordingly. 

  • To abundantly increase my financial value 

To increase my financial value – my financial value is my total savings, investments and pensions.

I find financial value is a better metric than earnings as while you could be staying on the same earnings, your financial value could be increasing depending on your savings, investments and pensions. 

In stark contrast your earnings could be increasing but if you are not saving and investing, your financial value could be decreasing.

This year I have one very large financial project and many smaller projects that will all increase my financial value and move me a few steps closer to financial freedom. 

  • To continue with my break from earning money

This is something I never thought I’d say – take a break from earning money! Actually this will be my 3rd year in a row earning less money.

This reduction in earnings has resulted in abundance of another type. I have abundance in terms of time which brings me more joy than any amount of money ever could. With this time, I plan to learn more about finance and build the foundation for my business..

These learnings and business foundation will in time support me to earn more.

  • To abundantly learn more about finance 

To learn more about personal finance and continue to embed a growth and abundance mindset in terms of finance. I haven’t read many books on finance but the books I have read have made a huge impact on me.and my financial decisions.

Below are books I highly recommend to learn more about personal finance. 

  1. Money – Master the Game by Tony Robbins – I highly recommend this excellent book’. I didn’t understand all of it but it’s worth reading for chapter 8 which is all about financial freedom. According to Tony, it’s not as difficult to achieve as you may think. I listened to this on audible as I found it easier to understand as some chapters I had to listen to a few times.
  1. Think and Grow Rich by Napoleon Hill – this bestselling book was on my bookshelf for years before I finally read it last year and I look forward to reading it again this year. It’s the type of book that you can read over and over again as you go deeper and deeper into it’s wisdom. A must read for anyone serious about financial freedom! 
  1. Mindset by Carol Dwecke – If you want to learn more about a growth mindset I highly recommend you read Carol Dwecke’s book Mindset. This book teaches the difference between having a growth mindset and a fixed mindset and the consequences of both. I truly believe that having a growth mindset is the first step to reaching financial goals. 
  1. Rich Dad, Poor Dad – This is a very easy read as the lessons it teaches are told through a brilliant story. The financial teachings are easy to understand and jargon free which is how I like to learn about finance. I found many similarities between this book and Mindset in terms of the importance of a growth and abundance mindset when it comes to finance.  

What METRICS will measure progress towards my finance goals?

  • Progress in large and mini projects 
  • Monitor total spend which is detailed, capital and business spend
  • Monitor total financial value which is profit, property & pensions (minus debt)
  • Monitor total earnings and income
  • Document and action financial learnings 

 

5. WORK:

I currently spend the least time in this category which is ironic as for 25 years it is where I spent the most time! Even though I now spend the least time here, it is the area of my life that is changing the most. 

Having left my day job in October 2021, I am currently in between working for others and working for myself. 

My only focus at the moment in terms of work is on writing, writing and more writing! 

What are my work Dream Driven Goals?

  • To be a writer and build my own business
  • To practice and teach Lean philosophy
  • To continuously learn and improve my skills
  • To enjoy every minute of this process

 WHY are my work goals important to me?

  • My favourite thing to do is write.
  • My second favourite thing to do is read which helps me be a better writer.
  • I have always wanted to work for myself and have total freedom over my work, my time, my finances and my creativity. 
  • My business will be a channel to achieving financial freedom. While I’m not focused on earning money from my business at the moment I will be building the foundation on which money can be earned in the future.

HOW will I achieve my work goals?

  • Create more time to read and write
  • Write weekly emails consistently – you can sign up for my weekly email here
  • Write new blog posts and learn more about writing and blogging
  • Write and share social media posts consistently 

What METRICS will measure progress towards my work goals?

  • Progress in creating more time to read and write
  • Consistency in sending weekly emails and posting on social media
  • Consistency in writing and publishing new blog posts
  • Learnings and improvement in my skills 

 

6. EXPERIENCES/FUN:

What are my Dream Driven Goals?

To have enjoyable experiences, have fun, smile, laugh out loud & not take life too seriously!

WHY are my Dream Driven Goals important to me?

Because it makes me feel good! 

 HOW will I achieve my Dream Driven Goals? 

  • Spend time with loved ones who make me smile, laugh and bring me so much joy
  • Plan experiences that bring me joy and make me feel alive
  • Be more aware of everyday activities that bring me joy and do more of them
  • Be more aware of everyday activities that don’t bring me joy and do less of them

What METRICS will measure progress towards my Dream Driven goals?

There are no metrics in this category although I do ensure I capture fun times in photos and journaled memories.  

 

7. ENVIRONMENT:

What are my Dream Driven Goals?

To improve and enjoy my environment which is our home on a personal level. Remove everything that doesn’t serve me and only keep what brings me joy. 

WHY are my Dream Driven Goals important to me?

Because it makes me feel good and I enjoy looking after & improving our living space.

HOW will I achieve my Dream Driven Goals? 

  • Carry out Marie Kondo’s decluttering in our home. Marie’s overarching teaching is to remove anything from our homes that doesn’t SPARK JOY! Marie’s book ‘The Magic Art of Tidying Up’ is a must for anyone who wants more space in their home and life! 
  • Decorate our home with the support of an interior designer. This has been on my goals for 2 years and I haven’t got to it yet – maybe this year!

What METRICS will measure progress towards my Dream Driven goals?

  • Progress in Marie Kondo’s decluttering on our home. 
  • Progress in decorating our home with the support of an interior designer

8. CONTRIBUTION

What are my Dream Driven Goals?

To contribute to the world financially and also with my time & skills.

WHY are my Dream Driven Goals important to me?

I want to give back because the world has given and continues to give me so much 

HOW will I achieve my Dream Driven Goals? 

  • I have been supporting 4 main charities that mean a lot to me for many years. All of these charity direct debits are currently on hold as I’m not working but I contribute financially to charities with once off payments. 
  • Contribute to the world with my time & my skills – this means different things at different times

That’s it, my 2024 goals.

Whatever your goals are, I wish you success, love, health and happiness as you live your best life every day. 

If you want to follow my journey, you can sign up to my weekly newsletter by downloading my free ebook ‘The A-Z of Effective Change’ below. 

Thanks for reading,

Siobhain

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Where Are You – in colour?

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Following on from my blog post Where Are You, here’s a very simple way of visualising where you are in every area of your life.

I love visuals and colour which is why I love visualising where I am in life through colour.

The above image is a scale that is widely used for mental health evaluation. You can use this for your Wheel of Life which will give you an effective snapshot of how you are functioning in all areas of your life.

You simply assign the appropriate heading and corresponding colour to each area of your life.

Not only will this give you a very colourful Wheel of Life, it will also highlight the areas of your life that require the most attention.

Of course we’d all love to be thriving and excelling in all areas of our lives but that’s just not realistic.

Life doesn’t work like that.

There is always some challenges, some struggles, some obstacles to be overcome.

My goal isn’t to be excelling and thriving in all areas. I just want to stay out of crisis mode and if I find myself there, that I move out of it as quickly as possible.

I also don’t want to be struggling in any area for too long.

Life’s inevitable ups and downs means we will be in crisis, we will struggle, we will just be surviving in some areas – the magic is how we deal with life when we find ourselves in these places.

It’s most likely that your Wheel of Life will have a mixture of all colours, you more than likely will be thriving in some areas and struggling in others.

When you have assigned colours to all areas of your life, your Wheel of Life may look something like this. 

No matter where you are, it is just your starting point.

Where you go depends on your goals and how much work you put into them.

Do you want to join my weekly newsletter?

If so download my free ebook  ‘The A-Z of Effective Change’ below and you are all signed up! 

Thanks for reading,

Siobhain

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Where Are You?

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If I asked you WHERE ARE YOU what would you say? 

Is the first thing you think of your physical location?

What if I rephrased the question and asked,

WHERE ARE YOU IN EVERY AREA OF YOUR LIFE?

Now that’s a totally different question and will have a totally different answer.

In the Lean world we refer to this as the CURRENT STATE.

If you were planning a physical journey you would first need to know where you are planning that journey from in order to get where you are going!

The same principle applies in goal setting – before we set our goals we must first know where we are starting from – we must know our CURRENT STATE.

 

Below are 4 simple steps to evaluate WHERE YOU ARE and what your CURRENT STATE is in each area of your life. 

STEP 1:

Divide your life into categories. Categorising your life makes it easier to set goals and also easier to make progress on these goals.

I use the Wheel of Life to categorise my life – the categories of my life are Sense of Self, Health, Relationships, Finance, Work, Experiences/Fun, Environment & Contribution. You can use my Wheel of Life or create your own to create categories for your life.

 

STEP 2:

Go through each category in your Wheel of Life and answer the question,

WHERE ARE YOU IN THIS AREA OF YOUR LIFE?

What is the first thing that comes to your mind when you think about this area of your life? 

  • If one area of your life is going super and you don’t feel the need to change – acknowledge that and be proud of yourself.
  • If an area of your life is a mess or isn’t what you want it to be – acknowledgment and acceptance of that is the first step to change.

 

STEP 3:

Go through each category in your Wheel of Life and answer the question,

WHAT DO YOU LIKE ABOUT BEING HERE?

This is about what you like in each area of your life.

What brings you joy? 

What makes you happy? 

What makes you smile?

 

​STEP 4:

Go through each category in your Wheel of Life and answer the question,

WHAT DO YOU DISLIKE ABOUT BEING HERE?

This is about what you don’t like in each area of your life.

What doesn’t bring you joy? 

What doesn’t make you happy? 

What doesn’t make you smile?

 

All of the answers above are your CURRENT STATE at this moment.

Where you will be at the end of 2024 will be determined by the goals you work towards 😊

What will be different for you in 2024?

How far will you move from your CURRENT STATE?

 

Do you want to join my weekly newsletter?

If so download my free ebook  ‘The A-Z of Effective Change’ below and you are all signed up! 

Thanks for reading,

Siobhain

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Thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions

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What’s your thoughts on New Year’s Resolutions?

I used to set New Year’s Resolutions every year until I realised they didn’t work for me. My New Year’s Resolutions were vague, unmeasurable and I almost always broke them within a month of setting them. On speaking with others about New Year’s Resolutions, this seems to be a familiar pattern.

My New Year’s Resolutions were the same year on year which should have been a red flag to their effectiveness! 🚩

My New Year’s Resolutions went along the lines of – exercise more, eat more healthy, drink less alcohol, smoke less, spend less, save more, invest more, read more, write more….you get the gist.

Year after year I made these resolutions but they only made me feel like I was going around in circles, which I was!

Everything changed for the better when I forgot about New Year’s Resolutions, started setting annual goals and started using metrics to measure progress towards these annual  goals!

The difference is my annual goals were intentional, focused and measurable whereas my resolutions were wishy washy at best.

Whether you set New Year’s Resolutions or you set goals with metrics, I hope every step of your path in 2024 is enjoyable and paved with health and happiness ❤️

You can start preparing for 2024 goal setting TODAY by either buying a nice new notebook or downloading the Asana App.

WHY?

Because what gets written down gets done 😊

Henriette Anne Klauser’s book ​‘Write it Down, Make it Happen’​ outlines the science behind the principle that writing your goals down gives them a higher chance of success.

  • ​I use ​Moleskine journals ​for physically writing down goals. Moleskine journals are beautiful, hard wearing and in my humble opinion the best journals in the world!
  • The ​Asana App​ is my go to app for documenting and monitoring goals online. Asana is super easy to use and is also an excellent project management tool. I have been using the free version of Asana for years and it suits just perfect
  • I also use ​Google Suite​ for online documentation

​Want to read more about positive change?

Download your free e-book ‘The A-Z of Effective Change’ and sign up to my Weekly Newsletter below.

Thanks for reading,

Siobhain 

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Making Decisions Before You Need To Make Them 

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Would you call yourself a GOOD DECISION MAKER?

How do you know if you are a GOOD DECISION MAKER?

You are a good decision maker if your decisions are yielding the results you want.

To a certain point, which is different for all of us, we make good quality decisions, promptly and with confidence.

These decisions yield the results we want and we move forward with our lives & work.

Past a certain point, which again is different for all of us, we make poor quality decisions, are slow to make these decisions and make them with less confidence.

These decisions do not yield the results we want and we don’t move forward with our lives & work.

In early 2021, I was making quality decisions, promptly and with confidence. These decisions yielded the results I wanted and I was moving forward with my life and work. As the year progressed and I took on more & more and became busier & busier, my decision making reduced in quality, became slower and I made decisions with a lot less confidence.

These decisions yielded the results I did not want and I wasn’t moving forward with my life & work.

In hindsight I realised I had DECISION FATIGUE!

DECISION FATIGUE is when the number of decisions we need to make outweighs the capacity we have to make them and we feel like we cannot make  even one more decision – even the simple everyday decisions become difficult!

How do you know if you have DECISION FATIGUE?

If you say YES to more than 3 of these, chances are you have DECISION FATIGUE!

  1. Do you find it hard to make decisions?
  2. Are you slow to make decisions?
  3. Are you less confident than normal in making decisions?
  4. Have you been making decisions that yield results you don’t want?
  5. Do you feel fatigued when making decisions?
  6. Is your to do list becoming unmanageable & overwhelming?

The antidote to having decision fatigue is making EXCELLENT DECISIONS.

Why would you want to make EXCELLENT DECISIONS?

  • Decisions you make will be made quicker
  • Decisions you make will be made with more confidence
  • Decisions you make will be aligned to your vision for your life & work
  • You will be more mindful & intentional in your life & work
  • You will be less frustrated & overwhelmed
  • You will be utilising and saving time, energy & focus
  • Will be saving and making more money

So, the million dollar question is HOW do you AVOID DECISION FATIGUE and MAKE EXCELLENT DECISIONS?

YOU MAKE DECISIONS BEFORE YOU NEED TO MAKE THEM!

Here are the 3 steps to MAKE DECISIONS BEFORE YOU NEED TO MAKE THEM!

  1. START WITH STRATEGY

Strategy is one of my favourite things to do. 

If I were to sum up strategy in one word it would be DIRECTION!

Strategy whether it’s a personal or business strategy is all about having structure & systems that set your DIRECTION, support your desired DIRECTION and monitor progress towards your DIRECTION.

The following are the core elements of a stable strategy – Vision, Mission, Values, Goals, Metrics, Plans, Actions, Thinking, Learning, Improving, Reflection, Recognition & Celebration. 

When you have all of the above in your personal/business strategy, decision making becomes so QUICK, EASY & SIMPLE.

When faced with a decision, ask ‘Does this align with my strategy?’

If it does, then the answer is an ABSOLUTE YES.

If it doesn’t, then the answer is an ABSOLUTE NO. 

The above decisions are made when you create your strategy and plans at the beginning of the year, quarter, month, week and day hence,

MAKING DECISIONS BEFORE YOU NEED TO MAKE THEM!

  1. CREATE DAILY PLANS & DAILY DISCIPLINE

From your strategy, you will be making annual, quarterly, monthly & weekly plans.

From your weekly plans you will be making DAILY PLANS.

Ideally you will create your daily plans the day before which means you are making decisions about what you are going to do BEFORE YOUR DAY EVEN STARTS!

This is a huge part of MAKING DECISIONS BEFORE YOU NEED TO MAKE THEM!

Creating DAILY PLANS makes you focus on what is important and what absolutely has to get done the next day.

Everything else is a NO!

So that is a bit utopian, in that if it were that simple, DAILY PLANNING would be much more popular!

As well as DAILY PLANNING daily you will also need DAILY DISCIPLINE.

DAILY DISCIPLINE is the difference between keeping your daily plans and not keeping your daily plans.

Are you prioritising your DAILY PLANS & DAILY DISCIPLINE?

If so then you are MAKING DECISIONS BEFORE YOU NEED TO MAKE THEM!

  1. PRACTISE THE ART OF SAYING NO

Decision making is more about what you say NO to than what you say YES to.

DAILY PLANS mean you have made decisions about what you want to do each and every day.

Effective decision making is saying NO to everything else.

I get it, saying NO to everything that isn’t on your daily plan might work in an ideal world, but we don’t live in an ideal world. We live in a messy, unpredictable, busy world, where plans working out exactly how we planned them are almost an exception to the norm!

Even so, learning to say NO is a game changing skill to master.

Not only will learning to say NO make you a more effective decision maker, it will protect your time, focus & energy enabling you to move closer to your personal & professional goals.

I have 3 tips for you in terms of practising the art of saying NO,

I. Treat NO as your default

Most of us have YES as our default. We may say YES to requests and then if we realise we really wanted to say NO, we figure out a way to reverse our decisions.

In terms of decision making, this is highly ineffective, causes us much stress and  means we are not being honest with ourselves and others. 

Wouldn’t it be more effective to say NO when you want to?

How could you make NO your default?

II. Treat NO as a muscle to strengthen

Practising the art of saying NO is like building a muscle – the more you use it, the more it grows and the stronger it gets.

The more you say NO, the easier saying NO becomes, the more confident you become at saying NO, the more you will see the immense benefits that saying NO can bring and the more you say NO, the more you and your boundaries will be respected.

The more you say NO, the stronger this muscle becomes and the more you will enjoy using it.

iii. Learn to say NO like a small child

Have you ever watched how small children say NO to things?

A small child’s NO is a clear NO – nothing and no-one will change their minds.They don’t feel the need to tell you why and they certainly aren’t apologising for their NO!

This is because small children know what they want and they don’t have all the baggage relating to the word NO that adults have.

How can you learn to say NO with the same confidence and clarity as a small child?

I wish you super success with your decision making so that your decisions result in the life & business you want!

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Siobhain

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Annual Review 2023

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In the Lean world we carry out an Annual Hansei which is Japanese for annual self reflection.

Annual self reflection allows us to reflect on what has worked well in the past year so we can celebrate & build on the successes.

It also allows us to reflect on what didn’t work well in the past year so we can adjust & change direction.  

I will be happy to see the end of 2023.

2023 has by far been the hardest and most challenging year of my life.

My beloved and adored Dad was really ill in early 2023 and passed away on 6th August. Because of this immense loss, no challenging time before 2023 even came close to the heartache and sadness of 2023.​

I reached very few goals in 2023 which was similar to 2021 & 2022. This has made me realise that no matter how much we plan, the path that is meant for us will always be the path we travel.

This path is not necessarily what we plan for!

Whatever 2023 brought you, I hope you find time to reflect on your year, leave behind what doesn’t serve you and bring into 2024 everything that supports & nurtures you. 

I use the Wheel of Life below to categorise my life. The categories of my life are Sense of Self, Relationships, Health, Work, Finance, Recreation, Environment & Contribution.

When reflecting on your year, you can use these categories or create some of your own.

Here is my Annual Review for 2023.

1. Relationships:

My beloved Dad passed away on August 6th 2023. That day was the worst day of my life and every day since has been a real challenge. I miss Dad every minute of every day.

Dad was a great man, a great Dad, everything about him was just great. 

I got to spend a huge amount of time with my Dad in his last months and I was by his side during his illness. It’s hard to express just how grateful and blessed I am for this precious time, as well as the previous 49 years we had together. 

My awareness of how precious time is was heightened this year as I was reminded that our time is not finite, we don’t have a never ending supply of time.

One day our time with those we love runs out! One day our own time runs out!

Everything else in 2023 paled into insignificance for me. My priority was my Dad and now my priority is learning to live with his physical absence. 

The loss of a loved one changes everything.

I’m different, my world is different, my perspective on the world is different.

Everything is different.

 

2. Sense of Self: 

In 2023 I added ‘Sense of Self’ to the categories of my life.

In 2023 personal development which I had been doing for decades was no longer working for me. Personal strategy which I had been doing for over a decade was no longer working for me.

I knew I needed something more meaningful and impactful.

Sense of Self combines my story, spirituality, personal development, personal strategy and my relationship with myself.

This category is all about who I am, who I want to be, who I need to be to achieve my dreams and how I feel about myself and the world around me.

Here is where I also work on the concepts of self love, self worth, self esteem, self belief, self trust, self confidence, self assurance, self understanding, self respect, self awareness and self observation.

2023 was a very challenging year for me and I feel my Sense of Self was on shaky ground. This shaky ground probably started a few years ago but 2023 made it even more unstable. 

In saying that, the challenges of 2023 brought me immense personal growth & learnings. These learnings and personal growth have been very difficult and painful – the saying ‘no pain no gain’ comes to mind! 

 

3. Health: 

There is no truer saying than health is wealth, the quality of every area of our lives is totally dependant on our health.

I have always been aware of the importance of physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual health and over the past few years, for many reasons, this awareness has been brought to a deeper level. 

In 2022 & 2023 I watched loved ones deal with ill health which was really challenging and reinforced the importance of dedicating time & energy to learning about and improving our physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual health. 

2023 was challenging for me in all areas of my health and I didn’t reach any of the goals I set for myself. I actually went backwards in terms of most of my health goals. 

In March, I injured my back skiing and that injury stayed with me all year albeit improving bit by bit throughout the year.

The loss of my Dad greatly impacted my health. I don’t fully comprehend how but I am working to understand this. 

Improving our physical, mental, emotional, & spiritual health is a journey and just like any other journey, it’s important to keep learning & moving forward no matter the pace!!

 

4. Work:

I currently spend the least time in this category which is ironic as for 25 years it was where I spent the most time! 

Work has changed dramatically for me over the past few years. I left my day job in October 2021 and wanted to set up own business but life had other plans for me! 

I took time off and am still on time off! 

This time off work has been life changing.

No job, salary or money can compete with how precious this time has been. 

Having this time off work in 2023 meant I had a huge amount of time with my Dad during the last stage of his life – that time was the most precious gift of my entire life. 

One of my writing goals for 2023 was to improve my writing.

At the beginning of 2023 I had become unhappy and disillusioned with my writing and had written many blog posts & emails that will never see the light of day. They are my writing and my words but they did not align with who I am and with the type of writing I want to do.

My writing did not adequately reflect how my life has changed in the past few years and how I have evolved as a person.

  • I wanted my writing to be richer, deeper, more meaningful, and more impactful for me and for you, the reader
  • Also I wanted to write more from a place of transparency & openness to see where it takes me

My writing is definitely on it’s way to being richer, deeper, more meaningful, more transparent and more open but it is a journey, possibly one that will last as long as I continue to write. 

Another one of my writing goals for 2023 was to write more. 

I am for the first time in my life, writing more than I am sharing. This is a huge milestone for me and means because as I write more, I can write better!

This has been a dream of mine for a very long time.

In terms of work I  still want to set up my own business, I’m just not ready yet.  

At some stage I will need to think about how to balance my precious time off with the writing I want to do but for the moment I’m just going to continue to enjoy the balance I currently have.  

 

5. Finance: 

The more I learn about personal finance the more I wish personal finance was a subject I learned in school, it certainly would have saved me much trial and error. Just like health – finance is a journey of which learning & understanding are constant companions. 

In 2023 I changed much of my financial landscape. I wanted to simplify & streamline my finances to make them work better for me. 

Renovating and selling an investment property in 2023 will allow me to make more diverse financial decisions in 2024.

I completed a number of smaller financial projects which were all aimed at streamlining my finances and moving step by step towards financial freedom. 

My top 3 financial learnings of 2022 stand firm for 2023 also,

  • One of the most important elements of finance is mindset – one person can receive €100 and feel rich and another could receive €1,000,000 and feel it’s not enough. The difference has nothing to do with numbers, it’s money mindset. 

There are 2 types of money mindset – abundance and scarcity – both will dictate your relationship with money and how freely it flows in and out of your life and also how much you enjoy earning and spending money. 

  1. Abundance is not just about money – when I left my day job in October 2021 my income  dramatically reduced but I felt more abundant in so many other areas of my life. Abundance is also about love, time, health, freedom and everything else that money cannot buy. 

The abundance of love, time, health & freedom brings me more joy than any amount of money ever could! 

  1. Time is more valuable than money – this is not a learning but a teaching from Jim Rohn. Jim’s quote about time and money is one of my all time favourites. 

‘Time is more valuable than money. You can get more money, but you cannot get more time’.

Every day I am learning the true essence of this quote. Now that I no longer trade my time for money, I see the true value of time which is priceless – absolutely priceless. 

 

6. Recreation:

This category could be combined with relationships as it is with those I love that I have the most fun times. No-one makes me laugh out loud more than those I love and those who love me – these people are food for my soul! 

I spent much time in 2023 with my Dad who always made me laugh. My Dad had a brilliant sense of humour which my brother’s and I each inherited some of.

My Dad and I and always laughed and joked when in each other’s company. Even through his illness and last days, he was smiling and joking and reminding us how important it is to laugh and keep things light! 

Mike and I also share the same sense of humour and so our home is always filled with much laughter of which I am immensely grateful for. 

I didn’t have much of a social life in 2023 which suited where my life was in 2023. Maybe I’ll be a little more social in 2024 – who knows! 

 

7. Environment:

For me, environment is about our planet on a global scale and our beautiful home on a personal level.

In 2022 I started decluttering our home using the techniques in Marie Kondo’s brilliant book ‘The Life Changing Magic of Tidying Up’. I continued with this in 2023 however implementing these techniques took way longer than I had thought and so it will continue well into 2024. 

I’m a minimalist in that I don’t have or need much stuff but I only realised how much stuff I actually have when I started to declutter it! 

 

8. Contribution: 

I continue to give to charities, albeit not at the level I would have when I was working.

In 2023 I became more aware of the contribution I make to the world in terms of my time & skills and the contributions I make which aren’t monetary. We all contribute to the world in so many ways that we don’t even notice, this has been an unexpected education for me!  

That’s it, my 2023 in review.

I am happy to say goodbye to 2023, it was a year of immense pain, heartache and loss.

Thank you for reading my blog posts and your kind words during 2023, I really appreciate your support. 

I hope whatever 2023 brought you that you can build on & learn from it. May 2024 bring you and your loved ones health, happiness, peace & prosperity. 

Thanks for reading, 

Siobhain 

x x x

If you want to carry out your own Annual Review, below is a list of blog posts to support you. 

5 Reasons To Prioritise Your Annual Review​​

3 Steps To Your Annual Review​  

This is the 11th year I have shared my Annual Review here on my blog, my previous Annual Reviews can be found here,

2013   2014   2015   2016   2017   2018   2019   2020  2021  2022

 

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The JOY of solitude

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Have you done Mel Robbins exercise yet?

Basically it’s an exercise to see where you can bring more HAPPINESS & JOY into your life. if you missed my blog post you can read the blog post here ‘What brings you JOY and what fills YOUR days’.

What’s your relationship with solitude?

Do you like spending time alone?

There will no doubt be two camps who answer this question very differently.

The introverts will say YES.

The extroverts will say? I don’t know what the extroverts will say, maybe you can tell me?

I know introverts will say YES as I am an introvert and one of my favourite things to do is spend time alone, solitude brings me much JOY.

Why does solitude bring me JOY?

Firstly, being an introvert solitude is how I recharge my batteries. Solitude is how I gain enough energy to be able to function when in other people’s company. Time in solitude for introverts is just as important as oxygen is!

Solitude gives me time to think. I have a very active mind (doesn’t everyone 🤔) and I need time alone to process things and clear my head.

I don’t know what the extroverts will say – that’s why I’m asking the question?

Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, do you like spending time in solitude?

Do you find JOY in solitude?

Whether you are an introvert or an extrovert, much can be learned about yourself or the introverts in your life from Susan Cain’s brilliant book ‘Quiet’.

I’d love to know your thoughts.

Would you like to join my weekly newsletter?

If so download my free ebook  ‘The A-Z of Effective Change’ below and you are all signed up! 

Thanks for reading 🙏

Siobhain

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The JOY of reading 📚

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In my blog post What brings you JOY and what fills YOUR days’ I wrote about the 2 lists that Mel Robbins suggests we create and whether those 2 lists align.​

Basically it’s an exercise to see where you can bring more HAPPINESS & JOY into your life.

I have much to be HAPPY & JOYFUL about but my days are filled with an overarching sense of sadness and loss.

There are glimpses of HAPPINESS & JOY but always tinged with sadness and loss.

That’s just my life at the moment and I’ll work through it. Some days it’s so hard but my Dad’s memory and the life he lived and gave to our family deserves to be honoured.

One of the JOYFUL activities in my life is reading.

The only thing I love more than reading is writing.

​The thing with reading (especially physical books) is that you need lots of time.​

Listening to audiobooks also takes time but you can listen to them while doing something else – driving, walking etc.

Getting the time to read physical books is a work in progress.

I don’t like reading a few pages at a time, I much prefer immersing myself in a physical book for hours at a time.

This makes creating the required time for reading difficult.

That said, it is totally worth it.

When I do dedicate the required time to reading I feel so JOYFUL & HAPPY and that JOY & HAPPINESS lasts well beyond when my reading finishes 📚

Over the past few years for many reasons, I haven’t been able to dedicate as much time to reading physical books as I would have liked.

I’m prioritising reading from now on – I want to be more JOYFUL and reading is an endless source of joy for me.

What could you prioritise that brings you HAPPINESS & JOY?

Does reading bring you JOY?

I have always wanted to create a blog post to share with you the books I have read and love. This will take me a while and isn’t something I can commit to this year but here is a list of some of my favourite books that I have previously shared with you.

Every single book on this list has changed my life for the better and can do the same for you.

​BOOKS & MENTORS.pdf ❤️

Would you like to join my weekly newsletter?

If so download my free ebook  ‘The A-Z of Effective Change’ below and you are all signed up! 

Thanks for reading 🙏

Siobhain

x x

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The JOY of Netflix ❤️

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What do you do to relax?

​​From the list of what brings me JOY one if the things I do to relax is watch Netflix.​

I arrived at the Netflix party late. Friends at work had been taking about Netflix for ages and as I didn’t have it I could only imagine the JOY they all shared from it.

When I left work in late 2021, I needed a break from all things work and so I looked for something to do that wasn’t work!

This was difficult for me.

Writing had become work, social media had become work, reading and listening to podcasts had become work as all I read and listened to was business books & podcasts.

My entire existence and everything I did had become work!

What could I focus on that wasn’t any of the above?

The answer was Netflix ❤️

The productivity & hustle culture are not fans of Netflix as they think watching Netflix isn’t time well spent.

I totally disagree with this.

I think watching Netflix is absolutely TIME SPENT VERY WELL!

Here are the many benefits of Netflix and why I think it’s a great way to spend your time and relax,

• Netflix is relaxing – you need to rest, recover and relax to function optimally

• Netflix is educational – there are some incredible documentaries on Netflix – some of the best I’ve seen are Downfall, Dope, Seaspiracy.

• Netflix is inspiring – there are some brilliant inspirational biography documentaries on Netflix which I love. Stultz is my favourite- if you haven’t seen it, I highly recommend it.

• Netflix combines genius writing with genius acting and genius cinematography. My favourite series include Breaking Bad (the best TV i have ever watched!), Ozark, Narcos, Narcos Mexico & The Queen’s Gambit.

• It’s mobile – you can watch Netflix anywhere at any time on your mobile phone – efficiency at it’s best

• Netflix is very affordable – Netflix is relatively cheap, the biggest cost is your time!

The documentary that inspired this email is ‘Human – the world within’.

​If you watch one thing on Netflix, let it be this! ‘Human – the world within’ is a most fascinating documentary series on the complexity, vastness and powerful machine we all inhabit – THE HUMAN BODY.

What do you do to relax that brings you JOY?

Have you found the JOY of Netflix?

Do you have any Netflix recommendations? I’m always looking for new things to watch!

Would you like to join my weekly newsletter?

If so download my free ebook  ‘The A-Z of Effective Change’ below and you are all signed up! 

Thanks for reading 🙏

Siobhain

x x

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