One of the most valuable skills in life and in the workplace is the ability to stand up for oneself.

Without this skill we are at the mercy of the direction others set for us.

That direction is a one way ticket to nowhereville.

😊 It’s difficult to stand up for yourself when your level of power and influence is deemed less than the person you are communicating with.

😊 It’s difficult to stand up for yourself when you don’t have the same level of knowledge as the person you are communicating with.

😊 It’s difficult to stand up for yourself when your point of view isn’t agreed with and/or it is dismissed.

😊 It’s difficult to stand up for yourself, full stop.

As difficult as standing up for yourself is, it is a critical skill to develop.

• When we don’t stand up for ourselves, we are accepting the status quo – someone else’s status quo.
•  When we don’t stand up for ourselves, we are silencing our own thoughts and opinions.
• When we don’t stand up for ourselves, we are allowing the truth of others to become our truth.
•  When we don’t stand up for ourselves, we lose our own inner power and influence which is much stronger than any hierarchical power and influence.

Recently I was reminded of the importance of standing our ground and standing up for ourselves.

I shudder when I think of the number of times I had to stand my ground and stand up for myself at work especially when dealing with those in a more ‘powerful’ position than me.
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I use the term ‘powerful’ in inverted commas as the only power they had over me was because of where they sat on an organisational chart – nothing more, nothing less.

Everyone in a position above me lost power over me every time I left a job – that’s how fleeting and temporary organisational chart power is!
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Every time I stood my ground and stood up for myself,
• My voice would shake
• My hands would sweat
• I would stutter some words
• My back would go into spasm
• My heart would start beating faster
• My breathing became quick and shallow
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I would do my very best to hide all of the above as I didn’t want anyone to see my discomfort.

As uncomfortable as standing my ground and standing up for myself felt in some situations, these uncomfortable feelings never stopped me – never once

• It’s hard going against the grain when you have less ‘power’ in a work situation.
• It’s hard going against the grain when your voice isn’t (deemed) as important in a work situation.
• It’s hard going against the grain in a work situation when you mostly don’t win.
• It’s hard to do all of the above in life in general.

💎 Hard is not a reason to not stand up for yourself.

💎 Hard is not a reason for your valuable voice to be silenced.

💎 Hard is not a reason to stay quiet when you disagree with something.
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Most of the times I stood up for myself against those in more ‘powerful’ positions I didn’t win, the power play against me was almost always too strong.
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Yet I didn’t lose, I learned – I learned very valuable lessons.
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Every time I stood up for myself I learned to build my own power from the inside out.

Every time I stood up for myself I built an inner strength and fortitude that supported me to keep standing up for myself.

Every time I stood up for myself my confidence grew so I could keep standing up for myself and also for others.
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The ability to stand up for oneself is one of the most underrated skills in our personal and professional lives.​
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If we taught ‘standing up for yourself’ in school instead of some of the academic stuff, kids would be better prepared for their adult lives.

I wish I had learned this skill in school, it would have saved me much trial and error and would have avoided many a confrontation at work.
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Standing up for oneself is not an easy thing to do yet it brings more innate power than any organisational chart or any other fleeting external power ever can.
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• Stand up for yourself
• Build your inner power
• Build your inner strength
• Build your inner fortitude
• Build your inner confidence
• Practice it over and over again
• Learn how to do it even when it’s uncomfortable
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Let your voice shake, let your hands sweat, let your words stutter, let your heart beat faster, let your breathing become quick and shallow.
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Feel all these uncomfortable feelings yet don’t let them stop you from standing up for yourself.
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If you don’t stand up for yourself, who will?
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Maggie Smith RIP said it best ‘Speak your mind even if your voice shakes’.
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Want to join my weekly newsletter on all things positive change? Download your free ebook The A-Z of Effective Change below and I’ll see you there 

Thanks for reading
​
Siobhain
x x

 

 

On one of his recent podcasts Dr John Delony quoted Ian Simkins who said ‘If busyness is your drug then rest will feel like stress’.
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This hit me like a brick to the back of the head.
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Busyness used to be my drug and rest used to feel like stress. 
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I’ve always loved working since I started collecting glasses and cleaning ashtrays in our family pub aged eight.

I’ve always got a buzz from work and this buzz continued for about 30 years until my busy, hectic and stressful day job as an Analytical Chemist (and Lean Practitioner) wasn’t enough for me and in 2012 I took on the journey to be a travel photographer and blogger.
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Adding another blog in 2017 and launching online courses in 2020 I was absolutely overfeeding my busyness habit.
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My mind, body and soul were never going to sustain this forever and in April 2021 my mind, body and soul said enough and they shut down.
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I burned out.​
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For those who haven’t experienced burnout it’s not a physical tiredness that can be fixed with rest. It’s an emotional and mental shutdown of the mind, body and soul. You are unable to think and unable to do anything. Even the simplest of everyday tasks feel like a mountain to climb.
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In the following months I stopped all work outside of my day job, I stopped writing, I stopped social media, I stopped creating content and I removed myself from all online groups that I was a part of.
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I still felt burnt out.​
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And so I further cleared my plate.
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I stopped reading physical books, I stopped listening to audiobooks, I stopped listening to podcasts, I stopped watching YouTube videos, I unsubscribed from the many email lists I was subscribed to, I stopped all online courses that I was doing.
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I still felt burnt out.​
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Then my attention turned to my day job. I was absolutely miserable in my day job. I had loved my job for many years and it brought me great joy but Covid had changed much of my role and I felt like I was just checking things off a to do list.
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I was no longer using my brain or my skills and I was arguing with people more than I was supporting them.
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I left my day job and only then realised how much of my life I had dedicated to work. In hindsight I also only then realised how much the habit of busyness had consumed my life.
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And I still felt burnt out. ​
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Since late 2021, I have dedicated my life to slowing down and eliminating the effects of burnout, to getting off the fast paced rollercoaster of life and enjoying a slower paced stroll with less highs, less lows and less dramatic turns.
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This has not been easy, it’s not easy to slow down.
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Naively I thought that when I left my day job (which took 50+ hours of my life every week) I thought my life would slow down and that it would happen almost like flicking a light switch.
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That was not the case.
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Yes I did have more time, much more time but slowing down wasn’t like flicking a light switch. Slowing down has been a slow, drawn out process of two steps forward and one step back!
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I have had to work really hard at ensuring I don’t get back on that fast paced rollercoaster that no longer suits, supports or serves me.

No matter what type of lives we lead, our days get filled and if we don’t work at slowing down they become so full that we end up on the rollercoaster of life, at a speed that we don’t want to be travelling at!
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Life has its way of keeping us busy and it can be very difficult to get away from the busyness of life especially if this busyness is your drug!
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These days I am very slowly adding things I love back into my life, taking much care not to overload myself and lose myself in the busyness of life again.
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Ironically my weekly email survived everything and I have consistently sent an email to my readers every week since I started over 4 years ago – I am so grateful to every single person who reads my emails and send me lovely replies. 
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💎 The drug of busyness is no longer a part of my life

💎 Rest no longer feels like stress

💎 Rest now feels like rest, proper rest

💎 Rest is now my preferred drug 

• Is busyness your drug?
• Does rest feel like stress?
• Would you like rest to be your preferred drug?

I write a weekly email on all things positive change – if you want to join, download your free ebook The A-Z of Effective Change below and I’ll see you there.
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Thanks for reading,
​
Siobhain
x x

I’m digging deep into bravery and making big changes to my writing.
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For the first time ever I am writing much more than I am sharing. This means I’m building up a library of writing content and I finally have the time to work on exciting new writing projects.
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This is a real milestone for me and one I have waited over a decade to reach – 13 years to be exact since I launched my first blog.
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This ability to write more coincides with an internal need to write from a deeper, more meaningful, more open and more transparent place.
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I’ve been giving this much thought recently and I’ve realised there are five levels to my writing and what I want to share through my writing.
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These 5 levels of writing can also relate to how we all live our lives and what we all share with the world,
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Level 1:

This is what we might post on social media that we don’t mind everyone in the world seeing.

This is surface level stuff.

It’s mostly best foot forward, the type of content you see when scrolling social media. It’s not all entirely true or at least it doesn’t tell the whole story.

What we see on social media is mostly a one sided story, we don’t seem to see the challenges of life that we all face.

This is the writing I have been doing for many years, it’s surface level writing.

This writing no longer serves me, I have outgrown it.

This is not deep, meaningful, open or transparent – it’s surface level only.

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Level 2:

This is what we might share openly with family and friends but not openly on social media. It might not be for everyone’s ears but we’re happy for everyone to know about it if they hear it.

It’s pretty surface level also.

This is usually best foot forward stuff but might have a slight glimpse into the challenges we face.

This is not deep, meaningful, open or transparent, it’s surface level with glimpses into a bit of depth.
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​Level 3:

This is what we share with say our partners and our close family & friends. This is not information we are happy for the whole world to know about and it certainly isn’t information that we are going to post on social media.

This gives a glimpse into what is really going on in our lives.

This is usually our highest highs and maybe not our lowest lows, but our lows in some context.
It’s a bit deeper and more meaningful than the surface level stuff. It shows our life as it really is and not the picture that may be painted to the rest of the world.

This includes the dreams we dream and some of the challenges we face.

Now we are getting into the deep, meaningful, open and transparent space!
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Level 4:

This is what we would only share with trained professionals like doctors, life coaches, counsellors, psychotherapists etc.

This is information that we don’t want to share with even our nearest & dearest, we are not happy for the world to know about it and we certainly wouldn’t go posting it on social media.

This is the deep, meaningful, open, transparent stuff that we are only brave enough to share with a trained professional. Whilst this could be our highest highs it’s mostly our lowest lows and the challenges we face that we can’t navigate on our own.

I’ve had life coaching at times when I couldn’t move forward on my own. The brilliant life coaches gave me the strength to leave situations that were killing my soul. I am currently seeing a genius psychotherapist who is slowly but surely transforming my life and bringing me closer to who I know I can be. She is also a trained grief counsellor so is helping me navigate my journey of grief after the loss of my beloved Dad. 

I often joke with her that people would think we are both a little crazy if they heard what we talk about. She assures me, it’s not crazy, it’s just not the level of sharing we are used to in our day to day lives!

•  We are not taught or encouraged to live at this level
• We are not taught or encouraged to share at this level
• We are not taught or encouraged to understand life at this level
• We are not taught or encouraged to solve our problems at this level

This level exists in us all.

As we don’t often share it, it all happens in our minds or if we are lucky enough, in the office of a trained professional

This is where I’d like to spend more of my time and sometimes I get frustrated that society in general doesn’t spend more time here or teach us how to access and utilise this limitless place.

I often think I’m on the wrong planet as I’d love to live more of my life from this beautiful, enriching and authentic place.
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​This is the very deep, very meaningful, very open and very transparent space of living, sharing and writing!

This is the deep sea diving of living, sharing and writing.
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Level 5:

Welcome to the inner world.

This is what nobody has access to only ourselves – this is our inner world.

This is our innermost thoughts, desires & dreams but also our innermost challenges & turmoil.

• We all have an inner world
• Access to this world belongs solely to ourselves, it is rarely if ever shared
• Our inner world is a very rich and beautiful place yet it can also be very dark and disturbing

 Our inner world contains,

• the happiness and the sorrow we feel
•  the elation and the despair we feel
• the light of our lives and the contrasted darkness
•  the light of our lives and the shadow that is cast upon the light

All of the above is normal yet it’s a place no one talks about or explores until they end up in crisis sitting across from a trained professional.

This mostly happens when the inner world becomes intolerable which also makes the outer world also intolerable.
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If you want to make real, sustainable change in your life it’s best to make it from this place.

• Our inner world is in the driving seat of our lives and the outer world is the reflection in the wing mirrors. Our inner world holds the compass to our lives and it maintains the speed

This is the deepest, most meaningful, most open and most transparent space of living, sharing and writing!

This is the abyss of living, sharing and writing.
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Currently what I write online is definitely level 1 and 2 sharing. What I share in my weekly emails is level 1 & 2 but also it dips into level 3 every now and then.
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I definitely share more of my life in my weekly emails than I do ion social media. The problem is levels 1 & 2 are not where I want to write from anymore.
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I now want my writing to be between levels 3, 4 and 5. ​
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This doesn’t mean I want to share my innermost thoughts, dreams and challenges with the world but it does mean I want to write about what I find, what I learn about and the changes I make at these deeper levels of living.
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To write from levels 3, 4 and 5, I need to access these places in my life which takes much awareness and focus. This level of writing also takes time as it requires deeper thinking and its a big change to how I currently write.
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 I’m happy to spend time figuring this out and I’m also happy to share this journey with you.

You can join my weekly email where I share thoughts and resources on all things positive change by downloading your free ebook The A-Z of Effective Change below. 

​💎 What levels do you live at and share your life at?

💎 What’s going on under the surface that you want to explore?

💎 Do you want more depth, meaning, openness and transparency in your life?

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Thanks for being here 🙏
​
Siobhain
x x

What’s your thoughts on new year’s resolutions?

​I used to set new year’s resolutions every year until I realised they didn’t work for me. My new year’s resolutions were the same year on year, vague, unmeasurable and I almost always broke them within a month of setting them!

​My new year’s resolutions went along the lines of – exercise more, eat more healthy, drink less alcohol, spend less, save more, invest more, read more, write more….you get the gist. These resolutions but they only made me feel like I was going around in circles, which I was

Everything changed for the better when I forgot about new year’s resolutions and started setting annual goals and using metrics to measure progress towards these goals

• My new years resolutions were wishy washy and never created sustainable change
• My annual goals are focused, measurable and resulted in sustainable change​

​Ten years ago I set a goal to stay off alcohol for the month of January, I had done this successfully for many years yet never got further than the 31st January.

Something was different about staying off alcohol that January. I’m not sure what it was but I decided to extend my goal to a year, a big goal and a big sacrifice at the time as I had a fondness (as we say in Ireland  😂) for alcohol.​

I reached my goal that year and stayed alcohol free. I then set an even bigger goal to stay off alcohol for good, for the rest of my life.

​This wasn’t a hard decision to make. After being alcohol free for a year I realised the many benefits of an alcohol free life and I also saw what alcohol had been costing me in terms of my time, health and finances.

​Since 1st January 2025 I’m now successfully 10 years into that lifetime goal and I can say being alcohol free is one of the best decisions I have ever made.

Was it hard – yes, do I miss alcohol – not really (maybe a little sometimes), have I been tempted to drink alcohol – yes, when my Dad passed away I wanted to drown all my pain in any substance that would have that effect, yet I didn’t. I would have thrown away 8.5 years of sobriety and so I found healthier ways to deal with my pain.

That’s the difference between new years resolutions and goal setting. Theres no real accountability with new years resolutions and so they never worked for me. Goal setting is different, goal setting is like making a promise to yourself. If you don’t keep your promises to yourself, only one person suffers, you.

​What promises will you make to yourself this year?

Are you ready to set some big, audacious goals?

Whatever goals you want to achieve this year and beyond, start small and build on the success you make every day, day by day. That’s how sustainable change is created, one step at a time, one day at a time.

​If you are interested in changing your relationship with alcohol I highly recommend you watch this excellent interview with Rich Roll (my favourite podcaster) and Andy Ramage who is an alcohol free advocate, it’s fascinating – The Insane Benefits of Going Alcohol Free. 

Andy’s instagram page is also excellent in terms of information on improving our relationship with alcohol.

Want to join my weekly newsletter on all things positive change? Download your free ebook The A-Z of Effective Change below and I’ll see you there 😊

Thanks for reading 🙏

Siobhain

x x

 

Photo by Levi Meir Clancy on Unsplash

As we prepare for a general election tomorrow, leadership has never been more important and critical to our nation.

There has been many debates and interviews with the party leaders over the past few weeks.

I listen tentatively when they discuss University Hospital Limerick as UHL directly impacts my loved ones and the loved ones of most people I know.

UHL is my local hospital, it’s my hometown and adopted hometown’s local hospital.

When asked, do the Mid West need another Accident and Emergency department, the reply is that government are waiting on the HIQA report (Health Information and Quality Authority).

This has been the reply from the Taoiseach, Tànaiste and Minister for Health – they literally use the same words.

The HIQA report is due in the summer of 2025 – 6 months away!

We were waiting for more beds and staff and now we are waiting for the HIQA report.

We seem to be always waiting for UHL Accident and Emergency to improve.

Here’s my suggestion to government on how they could make a quicker decision on whether the Mid West needs another Accident and Emergency department.

You could take your loved one in to University Hospital Limerick Accident and Emergency and see how long you wait for medical care.

Talk to the staff who are so caring and brilliant at their jobs yet cannot work to the best of their ability due to the incredibly challenging environment. I know many people working in UHL, they are all excellent at their jobs – respectful, immensely kind, caring and committed to their patients and to making UHL better.

Yet UHL doesn’t show the same respect, care and commitment to them.

See how your loved one is treated, how long they wait to be seen, to be triaged, to get bloods taken, to get blood results, to get x-rayed, to have other tests, to get a trolley.

Placing patients on trolleys in the corridors of University Hospital Limerick Accident and Emergency has become so normalised that there are markings on the floor for where the trolleys should be parked!

See how long you wait to be seen by a doctor – wait 10 hours, wait 12 hours, wait 24 hours.

These are not outliers – these times are the norm and you might be waiting much longer for the medical care you need.

Watch your loved one lie on a trolley in pain and discomfort (if they are lucky enough to get a trolley), watch their dignity diminish as their personal space is limited to the size of a trolley, watch their discomfort increase as their trolley is pushed back and forth when people need to get by, watch them wait to use unisex toilets that are unhygienic, watch them try to get something to eat and drink especially if they don’t have someone with them that can get food and drink for them.

When your loved one isn’t getting the medical attention they need, you could try asking the nurses and doctors to help you.

All of the medical staff are run off their feet and cannot get to your loved one.

You might get really frustrated out of worry and care for your loved one.

The nurses and doctors are so kind to you yet they cannot get to see your loved one as there are too many more serious cases that take priority.

You will reassure your loved one that they will get seen by a doctor soon yet you don’t know when.

You will wait.

Your loved one’s health will decline.

You will wait.

Your loved one’s health will further decline.

You will wait.

Your loved one’s health will continue to decline.

You will wait.

Some loved ones will get the medical care they need.
Some won’t.

This unfortunately is a fact in University Hospital Limerick Accident and Emergency.

Let me repeat that.

Some loved ones will get the medical care they need.
Some won’t.

I’ve been in University Hospital Limerick Accident and Emergency many times over the past few years and my humble opinion is that you need another Accident and Emergency department in the Mid West.

You needed another Accident and Emergency department in the Mid West the day you downgraded Ennis, Nenagh and St John’s (Limerick) hospitals in 2009 – 15 years ago.

You know this and we know this.

Yet you are all happy and united in waiting for a HIQA report – 6 months away.

This is insanity at it’s best.

I’ve never seen anything as poorly run as UHL Accident and Emergency.

It is the most chaotic and dangerous work environment for patients and medical staff that I have ever seen.

Yet we wait.

We wait for the HIQA report.

We wait for the government to make a decision.

We wait, just like the patients in UHL Accident and Emergency, who may or may not get the medical care they need.

We wait.

Simon Harris (Taoiseach), Micheàl Martin (Tànaiste) and Stephen Donnelly (Minister for Health) will never need to take their loved ones to UHL Accident and Emergency.

It’s not their local hospital.

Maybe their decisions would be treated with more urgency if they did!