Where does your time, energy and focus go?

Is it on what you control?

Is it on what you don’t control?

Over time I have learned that there is only one thing you control in this life and that is yourself. 

Everything outside of yourself is out of your control.

Every person, every event, every situation, every single thing outside of yourself is out of your control.

Because of this, wouldn’t it make sense to give the majority of our time and energy to what we can control?

In an ideal world the answer would be yes but we don’t live in an ideal world. We live in a messy, unpredictable, busy world where most of what we encounter during our daily lives is outside of us.

So if we don’t control what is outside of us, how do we change it?

We can try to.change things outside of us yet it’s much easier to just control our reaction to things outside of us.  

We absolutely 100% can control our reaction to every single thing that happens.

Easier said than done for sure. 

The next time you are in a situation that you want to change, think about the following,

1. How can I accept this?

Eckhart Tolle in my favourite book The Power of Now suggests to accept everything as if we had chosen it.

Following this acceptance, Eckhart then suggests to ask what the situation is trying to teach us.

Acceptance of difficult situations is not easy yet is totally in our control.

Acceptance is a concept that takes a bit of getting used to but absolutely brings much peace of mind. 

2. Can I change this?

Yes, then change it.

No, then how can I change how I view it?

Wayne Dyer in his masterpiece book ‘Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life’ introduces the concept of changing how we view things which doesn’t change what they are but changes our perception of them.

Wayne’s beautiful quote sums up this thinking ‘If you change the way you look at things, the things you look at change. Again, a concept that takes a bit of getting usd to but also brings much peace of mind.

How we view and think about any situation is totally in our control

3. Do I need to make a long term plan?

If you can’t accept something and can’t change it then the only other option is to remove yourself from the situation.

This is not always straight forward or easy and might take some planning on your part.
While you plan to remove yourself from the situation, acceptance and changing how you view the situation will go a long way to protecting you and your mental health. 

Making a plan to remove yourself from the situation will give you something to focus on other than the situation itself.

4. Reflect on your reaction

The more I reflect, the more I learn about how I react in situations that I want to change and how I make decisions, big and small.

Reflection is one of the most powerful things you can do to learn more about yourself.

Do you reflect on decisions you make and how you react to situations you want to change?

Reflection on and learning from every situation is totally in our control. 

The next time you are faced with a challenging situation you want to change, I hope the above will support you with acceptance, changing how you view the situation, planning to remove yourself from it and reflection on all of the above. 

As mentioned above, here are 2 life changing books that I love and that you might love also.. 

‘The Power of Now’ by Eckhart Tolle 

By far my favourite book of all time, if you only ever read one book in your lifetime, let it be this one! Eckhart’s follow on book ‘A New Earth’ is equally as good. 

‘Change Your Thoughts, Change Your Life’ by Dr Wayne Dyer 

An incredible book on how to change situations by changing how we think about them which is turn totally transforms our lives. Anything by Dr. Wayne Dyer is a transformational read. 

Want to join my weekly newsletter on all things positive change? Download your free ebook The A-Z of Effective Change below and I’ll see you there. 

Thanks for reading,

Siobhain

x x